11:38 pm.  Christmas Eve.  North Pole garage.  A disheveled Santa Clause enters stage left and grabs the lone elf standing by the sleigh, picking him up by his frilly collar.

“Where are the f-ing reindeer?!” ¬†The elf, in short breaths, stutters “About that, Mr. Santa, I’ve got some bad ne–“

“I CAN’T HANDLE bad news right now”, interrupts the rotund old man. ¬†“Where’s Rudolph? ¬†He’s the responsible one.”

“His gambling problem has gotten a bit out of control, sir. ¬†We’ve been phoning The Palazzo. ¬†No word yet.”

“Oh god…what about Dasher?” ¬†The elf gulps…”Livin’ with his mother. ¬†Hooked on pills again.”

“SHIT! ¬†Dancer and Prancer?! ¬†Wait…nevermind.” ¬†The elf smirks, “Yeah, they’re in Connecticut on their honeymoon. ¬†Decided to take an extra week.”

“Is Vixen turning tricks on 53rd again?” ¬†The elf nods. ¬†“We’re in trouble, Santa.”

A glass bottle breaks outside and hearty laughs and howls emit from the cold night air. ¬†Confused, Santa turns to the elf…”Now what’s THAT racket all about??”

“Oh, somehow, the fellas from Red Fang got lost on their tour and ended up here. ¬†They’ve been drinking whiskey for the last couple of days and haven’t slept a wink.”

“You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin, elf?” ¬†“It’s Chancey, sir…I think I’m catching your vibe, but I don’t know how they’ll do in the air. ¬†Want me to get ’em harnessed up?”

Santa cracks a smile. ¬†“Throw some more whiskey into the sleigh. ¬†We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

The Details

***Mailorder exclusive LP on gold translucent vinyl limited to 300. Includes a FREE limited edition Scion AV 7" featuring 2 previously unreleased tracks "The Meadows" and "The Shadows" while supplies last***

Price $17.09

Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel via Twitter.
What Do You Think of This Release?
  • Buying!
  • Maybe Buy
  • Not My Style
  • Too Expensive