11:38 pm.  Christmas Eve.  North Pole garage.  A disheveled Santa Clause enters stage left and grabs the lone elf standing by the sleigh, picking him up by his frilly collar.

“Where are the f-ing reindeer?!”  The elf, in short breaths, stutters “About that, Mr. Santa, I’ve got some bad ne–“

“I CAN’T HANDLE bad news right now”, interrupts the rotund old man.  “Where’s Rudolph?  He’s the responsible one.”

“His gambling problem has gotten a bit out of control, sir.  We’ve been phoning The Palazzo.  No word yet.”

“Oh god…what about Dasher?”  The elf gulps…”Livin’ with his mother.  Hooked on pills again.”

“SHIT!  Dancer and Prancer?!  Wait…nevermind.”  The elf smirks, “Yeah, they’re in Connecticut on their honeymoon.  Decided to take an extra week.”

“Is Vixen turning tricks on 53rd again?”  The elf nods.  “We’re in trouble, Santa.”

A glass bottle breaks outside and hearty laughs and howls emit from the cold night air.  Confused, Santa turns to the elf…”Now what’s THAT racket all about??”

“Oh, somehow, the fellas from Red Fang got lost on their tour and ended up here.  They’ve been drinking whiskey for the last couple of days and haven’t slept a wink.”

“You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin, elf?”  “It’s Chancey, sir…I think I’m catching your vibe, but I don’t know how they’ll do in the air.  Want me to get ’em harnessed up?”

Santa cracks a smile.  “Throw some more whiskey into the sleigh.  We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

The Details

***Mailorder exclusive LP on gold translucent vinyl limited to 300. Includes a FREE limited edition Scion AV 7" featuring 2 previously unreleased tracks "The Meadows" and "The Shadows" while supplies last***

Price $17.09

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